The New York Times’ Motherlode blog just published this piece about whether blogging makes new moms happier. In generations past new moms had to actually get out of the house to connect with each other – not an easy feat when you have a young child. Now through blogging, women connect constantly regarding a variety of topics without leaving their living rooms. And, according to a recent small research study, this makes new moms happier. Read the piece and let us know what you think. Do you have a blog? Has a blog helped you as a parent? As an adoptive parent or a parent through surrogacy?
While Facebook and other social media sites can be instrumental in helping adult adoptees and teen adoptees (with their parents’ permission) find their birth parents, it can also be a dangerous minefield for underage adoptees who are searching – or are being searched – without guidance from an adult. With the rise of social media, there is even more reason for adoptive parents to be open and honest with their children about their adoptions and their birth parents. Teen adoptees are very likely to search for birth parents their own, using Facebook and other social media sites, and if search and reunion has been discussed openly and honestly between adoptees and their parents, teens are more likely to turn to their parents for help.
Claiborne & Surmay, P.C. took leading roles in the 22nd Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys (AAAA) and the 2nd Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Assisted Reproductive Technology Attorneys (AAARTA). The meetings were held May 4-7, 2011 at the Hyatt Regency, Savannah, following a full year of planning by conference co-chairs Ruth Claiborne, a principal in Claiborne & Surmay, P.C. (Atlanta & Savannah) and Jim Thompson of the Thompson Law Firm,LLC in South Carolina. Claiborne & Surmay senior paralegal Toni Treadway co-chaired the paralegal portion of the conference, with attorney Shannon Matteson serving as liaison and advisor to the paralegals. This was Toni’s second time as a paralegal leader together with Wendy Gebhauer of Wisconsin, and once again she did a fantastic job. Our Savannah office, located on Bay Street just 2 blocks east of the Hyatt, provided valuable logistical support and paralegal Kim Griffin also set up several tours for participants and guests. Attorney Lori Surmay also participated actively in all aspects of the conference, so our firm was very well represented.
By all accounts this was one of the Academy’s most successful annual conferences ever, drawing approximately 250 attorneys, 32 paralegals, 15 sponsor/vendors, and numerous seminar speakers, spouses, and guests. Despite beautiful weather and the attractions of historic Savannah just steps from the hotel, 15 hours of cutting edge continuing legal education seminars were very well attended, held in a room with a long glass wall overlooking the river! Topics included Surrogacy Contract Drafting, ARTs Dilemmas; Health Insurance for Gestational Carriers; Ethics; Legislative Advocacy; Joint Adoption, ARTS & Immigration; Jurisdiction and Multistate Adoptions; Contested Adoptions; Impact of Maternal High Risk Behaviors on Child Development; Social Media; Telecommuting and Multijurisdictional Practice; and more. Paralegals were involved in a number of the CLE Sessions but also had their own breakout sessions focusing on ethics, technology and practical paralegal pointers.
The AAAA and AAARTA conference was an invaluable opportunity for all who attended to share ideas, to network with the best attorneys in our field from all over the US and Canada; to learn from each other and form lasting professional alliances. Often adoption and ARTs cross state lines with parties residing in different states, so it is crucial to have trusted colleagues throughout the country. The conference provided a balance of education, business meetings, and social activities.
On the recreational and social fronts, we built events around Savannah’s history and charm: a waterfront headquarters hotel, the opening reception at The Olde Pink House with delicious food in a converted historic home, and our main evening dinner and entertainment event on beautiful Johnson Square, complete with Savannah musicians followed by AAAA’s Rogue Band (famous in Academy circles!), delicious food, and the beauty of the historic square with its live oaks and monuments surrounded by landmark buildings. Attendees in their free time enjoyed walking tours, a riverboat cruise, an array of great restaurants, kayaking, golf, and even “The Book” Club at Clary’s café.
The conference ended on the Saturday before Mother’s Day. Perhaps not coincidentally, Mother’s Day weekend was the time at least two adoption triads met for the first time, following successful searches and reunions. A daughter from Oregon found her birth mother who lived in Savannah, met for the first time, and contacted Savannah media about the joys of reuniting. Attorney Ruth Claiborne was interviewed by the local Fox news channel about adoption reunions, the role of state-sponsored reunion registries, the new phenomenon of social media, and the Academy’s support of open adoption. Meanwhile, paralegal Toni Treadway and her husband went out to dinner and had a very personal encounter with an adoption reunion between a birth mom, biological father, and adult adoptee, happening at a nearby table in the restaurant. Toni was able to connect with them in a special way and to give meaningful and lasting gifts of understanding and a necklace with special symbolic meaning. For more on Toni’s story,click here.
AAAA voted in 2009 to form AAARTA as an affiliated academy, in recognition of the growing role of assisted reproductive technologies in family formation. Both Academies have rigorous selection processes for fellows, high ethical standards, and focus on the best interests of children as well as the adults who want to be parents. Both Academies seek out the best in our niche practices of adoption and assisted reproduction. We are grateful for having been given leadership roles and energized by having experienced the latest/greatest continuing education while having fun and enhancing professional relationships.
Claiborne & Surmay, P.C.’s senior paralegal, Toni Treadway, tells the story of how she encountered an adoption reunion while at the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys annual meeting, which took place May 4-7, 2011 in Savannah, Georgia:
On the second date of the conference, I was presented with a “thank you” gift by my paralegal co-chair of a beautiful silver necklace with an adoption-inspired pendant of a triangle (representing the adoption triad of the connection between the child, the birth family, and the adoptive family), and a flower with a baby pearl (representing the growing of a family through adoption).
One evening, my husband, Daniel, and I decided drive to Tybee Island for a quiet dinner. Within the course of more than an hour, we stopped at four different restaurants, each time sitting down, ordering drinks and looking over the menu. However, each time I had a sense that we were not at the right place and so we continued our restaurant hop, at the growing frustration of my very tired and hungry husband. The last restaurant we found was a quaint pizza place named “The Lighthouse Pizza”, which was located just a block from the beach and pier. The restaurant was almost completely empty, but for 3 people sitting together at a table across the aisle from where we sat down.
We struck up a friendly conversation with the two men and one woman at the table across from us, making pleasantries about the weather and the food. The group was finishing their dinner and having an international beer tasting. We all talked and joked about the various drinks. During the course of us eating our appetizers and their finishing their tasting, we came to the point in conversation where they asked us if we lived in the area and we told them that we were in town for an adoption conference. Almost instantly upon hearing the word “adoption”, the woman at the table began to tear up and the older man quickly said he didn’t want to talk about it but that adoption was near and dear to their hearts. I understood completely, having worked in the adoption field for almost 15 years, and just responded to them that adoption was near and dear to my heart and well and I wished them the best.
Daniel and I withdrew a bit from the group conversation and continued enjoying our meal, the smell and sounds of the ocean, and the relaxing atmosphere. As we were getting ready to leave, the woman came up to me and told me that she and the older gentleman had dated when she was just 17 years old and that she had gotten pregnant and placed a baby for adoption. She pointed at the younger man at the table and said that he was their biological son, having located each other through the Adoption Reunion Registry some time ago, and that this evening they were meeting all together for the very first time. We had stumbled upon their birth family reunion after more than 33 years. At that point, we all began to tear up, I thanked her for sharing her story with me and I wished them all the best. Daniel and I then left the restaurant to give them private time alone.
As we were leaving the restaurant, I walked down the street and thought about the new adoption necklace around my neck. I immediately stopped and told Daniel that we needed to go back. I went inside the restaurant and the family was still there talking. I took off the necklace and approached the woman and explained to her how I received the necklace and what the pendant meant, and said it would be my honor and privilege if she would accept it as a gift as she deserved it far more than I did. We all cried and hugged and the woman and I exchanged emails and have continued to communicate regularly. It was a truly amazing experience that I will cherish always as it reminds me of how blessed I am to have chosen this career path.
The IRS appears to be scrutinizing adoption tax credit claims more vigorously this year, perhaps because the credit was refundable for the first time in 2010. Several former clients have called our office to let us know they are being audited, some because of tax credits they applied for more than 5 years ago. CNN Money has an article about the tax credit and the IRS’ treatment of it here. The Federal Adoption Tax Credit helps many families afford the high costs of adoption and also motivates families to adopt special needs children, as the entire credit may be claimed for a special needs child even if no costs were involved.
** This post is not meant to constitute tax advice. For advice about the Federal Adoption Tax Credit please talk to a certified public accountant.
We proudly announce that the Savannah office of Claiborne & Surmay, P.C. has relocated to a new office on East Bay Street. The Savannah office continues to offer high quality legal representation in the areas of Domestic Relations Litigation; Assisted Reproductive Technologies; Adoption; and Civil Litigation. The contact information for the new Savannah office is:
Claiborne & Surmay, P.C. Attorney Will Claiborne Paralegal Kimberly Griffin 410 East Bay Street Savannah, Georgia 31401 Telephone: 912-236-9559 Facsimile: 912-236-1884
Conference Room.
We look forward to seeing you in our Savannah office in the very near future.
The Creating a Family website, operated by Dawn Davenport, is a wonderful resource on infertility, ART and adoption. Each week she blogs and facilitates a radio show. Past episodes are available on the website. This week’s radio show is on Breastfeeding the Child Through Adoption or Surrogacy and it includes first hand accounts from parents who successfully breast-fed their children who were adopted or born through surrogacy. Check it out to find out more about this interesting topic.
Rebecca Falco will be reading from and signing copies of her book, “Everything In Its Own Time: A mother’s memoir about adopting five children, and the ones that got away” this Saturday, January 8, 2011 from 1:00 PM to 2:30 PM at Eagle Eye Book. For more information please click here.
Did you know that November is National Adoption month? In many jurisdictions there are state-sponsored celebrations centered around adoption including a Saturday when the juvenile court is open specifically to finalize a large number of public agency (DFCS) adoptions.
President Obama issued a Presidential Proclamation for National Adoption Month. The full text of the proclamation can be found here.
Last month Ruth Claiborne of Claiborne & Surmay, P.C. finalized the adoption of two children from Haiti, brought to the United States on humanitarian parole. A limited number of Haitian orphans whose adoptions were already in process were allowed into the United States soon after the devastating earthquake in January. This is different from typical Haitian adoptions, where the adoption is finalized in Haiti and then domesticated in the United States. Haiti is still currently closed to new adoptions, although they are continuing to process adoptions initiated prior to the earthquake.
In related news, the Help Haiti Act of 2010 as well as the Lofgren bill passed the U.S. House of Representatives on July 20, 2010. The Help Haiti Act, also known as as the Fortenberry Act, aims to give Haitian children who came here through humanitarian parole the same status as children who come through IR-4 visas. The Lofgren bill will change the age limit of the child from 16 years old to 18 years old for purposes of immigration.
